September 2011
1 post
The Bigger Picture
Again as I read CNN.com, watch the news, listen to people talk, and utterly feel the hurt and pain and suffering in this world deep within my bones, I ask myself the question “is this what is intended for us as a race?”
Cast all your thoughts and perceptions and beliefs of world policy, human rights, religion, politics, etc. away for a moment (good luck). I’m asking you to think...
July 2011
1 post
Dear "Christian"
Enough with the gay-bashing already. Yep, I called it gay-bashing. You can put whatever saintly, charismatic, pro-hetero-marriage protection and save the children kind of twist to it you want, but in the end, I’m gay, you don’t like it, and you are going to be as vocal as you possibly can be about it.
Fine. I’m okay with that. I TOTALLY get it. You don’t like me. Not...
February 2011
1 post
What to do with a lonely heart...
A big empty apartment for my big, empty heart sizable and accommodating, both from a fresh start
A cat keeps me company and friends my spirits high, though I tremble in solitude through each lonely night.
Where is the man who will fill me with love; where is the man where push never comes to shove?
Where is the man, what keeps us apart, that his still, sweet sanity might calm my...
January 2011
4 posts
Wednesday Beers
Clearing #1: I’ve been drinking since 6:30 and it’s now 11:30
Clearing #2: I’ve had enough beer to be intoxicated
Clearing #3: Don’t worry, I didn’t drive :)
_____________________________
So here’s the thing. I’m in love with like 10 different people right now. Yes, I’m drunk, yes, I’m feeling very good and feeling no pain. But I can...
Waiting
Waiting for my heart and soul to find accord
Sitting here searching, wondering, worried
Empty, idle, bored
Hands to the devil go down and slither, wrong
Less to do with nothing
More to do with waiting
Waiting
For what? Pray, tell.
For it, for him for something more profound
than these idle hands searching for faith not found
What’s left in this man is aching, steel flesh
...
Dreaming...
Cropped hair and bearded chin Whiskers scratch He tucks me in Envelop me in warm arms strong Holding tightly Through nights long No tickles No torture Just loving embracing Firm grip Gentle hands Secure embraces His hairy chest My head rests on Deep gruff voice carries on He walks lightly upon the earth And thinks highly of all our worth His eyes gentle His brow furrowed and wise I can spend...
The Bright Sunshine of His Smile
A line of song sung from his heart and his soul through a smile full of hope and radiance is given to me on waking morning of love and happiness and light created from our union
Less left wanted and more left filled my chest is rested from a weight I carried before his presence strewn away the sadness and I succumbed to his gladness.
He is my sanctity my prose and my might His eyes melt away the...
December 2010
1 post
Flash of Memo
While unpacking boxes the other week, I was trying to place a box on the shelf above the fridge. Upon first attempt of placing the box, it got stuck on something. I determined in my head that there must be a sticky spot on the shelf, or a brace or something preventing the box from being properly placed. So logically, I tried again and just tried harder. With no further success and the fear or...
November 2010
1 post
In Summary
Life is different.
In length…
I lay on a borrowed blow-up air mattress, accompanied by my new friend and bedmate - Mr. Cuddles, and my trusty EVO tethered to a borrowed laptop in an apartment I rented less than a week ago upon the end of a nearly three-year relationship.
So yes, life is different.
The rooms in the place have different shapes, smells, energy and atmosphere. The squeak...
September 2010
2 posts
Out of the Ashes
Dark underside
of an upside-down world
where day is done
and night has sun
and what you long for
becomes undone
Longing to seek
The unsought soul
Hallowed in anguish
Haunting the minds
of frightened lives
torn fantasies
and mismatched dreams
Burdened and bludgeonedÂ
By the wrath of desire
laid waste to reckoning
what’s left of the tired
What once was is no longer
life...
The Thunder Rolls, The Lighting Strikes
A rain casts down in light drizzle as a firestorm unfurls above my head in the Southwestern sky. Bolts of quiet lighting shoot across in a dance of lights, with the occasional sound of thunder hitting my ears.
The chaos above me mirrors the chaos inside me. My heart and mind are a corresponding dance of confusion, worry, determination, and a sense of momentum though perhaps in an unknown...
August 2010
4 posts
Woodland Paradise and Friends A Plenty
A sense of ease descended over me as we left the house in a flurry of packed clothes, forgotten things and friends yet to be met. Pulling out of the driveway it all left my mind. We were on our way to a weekend that couldn’t possibly go awry.
The trip up to the cabin was quiet, Mark and I said little, listened to music and gorged ourselves on potato chips and Casey’s gas shop pizza...
Contemplation (What's New?)
I’ve been finding myself increasingly contemplative lately (as if you couldn’t tell from my blog posts?) but what is strange to me, is that it’s not surrounded by some bad event that has/is happening in my life. Normally my self-identity-seeking and quiet-contemplative monkey-mind come out when some trauma or soon-to-occur trauma is present. This time it’s different -...
Stop acting like little children.
The American Family Association is acting just like the “family” part of their name - and in this case they are acting like the stubborn little brat who can’t get their way.
They are now calling for the Impeachment of Judge Vaughn Walker, because of his ruling against the constitutionality of Proposition 8 in the state of California, which defined marriage as being between a man...
July 2010
4 posts
Dear Senator Johanns,
I must say I am quite dissatisfied with your reply to my inquiry on your position regarding the current Net Neutrality debate. I am well aware of the history of Net Neutrality and would have much more appreciated a detailed explanation of your position and the reasoning behind it.
From what I was able to gather in your letter, I truly fear you have missed the point of this debate altogether. Your...
Who am I and does "it" even matter?
I woke up this morning at 10:10, church is at 10:30 and I made it there at 10:29:30. Such is my life of skimming in at the last second.
I wasn’t going to go to church, and then I remember myself promising to myself that I wouldn’t miss church this week - so I kept my promise. The sermon this week was about the meaning of the Lord’s Prayer, and why we say the words we say when we...
Contemplative.
I sat on the edge of the whirlpool, feet dangling in the steamy water, alone and contemplative in the early hours of this morning. The jets had just stopped and the water was still churning around, trying to find peace and harmony after what was an eruption of utter chaos for 10 minutes of its life. As I watched tiny little whirlpools spin and slowly succumb to the calm, I pondered the question...
June 2010
5 posts
What exactly causes one to be inspired?
Gateau Saint-Honore with Francois →
This is one of my favorite recipes… I definitely need to make one of these again soon!!
Feeling a little down
What a great first post, right? I would venture to guess that a considerable number of blogs are started when people feel down. Hey, you gotta get it out somehow, right?
So yeah, feeling down and loving the fact that it is raining right now. Keep pouring down and wash away the sorrows.
