Life is different.

In length…

I lay on a borrowed blow-up air mattress, accompanied by my new friend and bedmate - Mr. Cuddles, and my trusty EVO tethered to a borrowed laptop in an apartment I rented less than a week ago upon the end of a nearly three-year relationship.

So yes, life is different.

The rooms in the place have different shapes, smells, energy and atmosphere. The squeak of the air mattress is sometimes startling, but not nearly as much as the radiator in the spare bedroom that sometimes sounds like a group of steelworkers have set up shop, pounding away at all hours of the night.

But air mattresses can make way for beds. A coat of paint, some tassels and a throw rug can give an apartment character in no time (though I might omit the tassels). Radiators can be purged, tilted and turned off to keep the noise down.

Relationships are another thing. Friendships are another things. Friends who are friends of the relationship are even another thing. And in the last week this has all changed.

I parted ways with my partner in a not-so-nice and rather abrupt fashion. The why’s and reasons are unimportant at this time, however important they were then. What’s done is done and the fallout has been mine to reckon with.

No matter how much you don’t want to hurt people, sometimes you do. Sometimes, you even have to hurt them, in order to save them from hurt later on down the line.

I didn’t want to hurt him or anyone else in the process, it was a necessary evil. A bandaid that had to get ripped off in order for the wound to reach air and heal.

I’ve learned in the process that true friends show themselves when your life is turned upside down. They give you bearing, breath and the space to be yourself in a world that is suddenly suffocating, unfamiliar and without hope. They lend their shoulder to your tears and their heart to your hurt. They help you feel better while still being strong enough to tell you when you’ve headed astray. They give you a smile when all you can do is frown.

I’ve also learned that in the most dark of places, light is still shining brightly if you walk but a step away. One foot in front of the other. What is unfamiliar will soon be familiar. What is empty will soon be full. What is dark will soon be light. What is lost, will soon be found.

The choices I have made do not make me who I am now, it’s the choices I make now that lead me to who I am tomorrow. I’m looking forward to bright, shiny days full of love, understanding, friendship and peace.

Happy Thanksgiving.